Tip-tip-tip-tip-argh.Even I am getting tired of the sound of my fingers on the car steering wheel.
"And if your route involves the western highway this Afternoon," The overly perky google navigator chirps, "Well, I have got some bad news folks - there's a car fire in the lane, and emergency crews are blocking the right lane, so only one lane is getting through right now!" She laughs, and I want to punch the radio." best to use another route today!"
Oh good. if only I would aware of the difficulty like one kilometre sooner. I rip down the visor mirror and raised an eyebrow at my reflection. "you know better," I scold mirror me, "you know you need to check the traffic before you choosing to this route!" I flip the mirror back up and switch the station.
"Goa wale beach pe.Thandi Thandi...!" Tony Kakkar's song playing." shit!" I turn down the volume and put the radio on the scan.
blue Toyota, right next to me. A guy, mid-thirties, chattering away on his Bluetooth headphone as he loosens his tie. "Hmm, I wonder. " I think you are a ...bank Employee." I study him closer. " you have just figured out for to embezzle Rs 100,000 from your branch and you are discussing the best way to hide it with your accountant friend,"
"Paisa paisa karti..tu paise pe kyu marti hai," the radio crackles De dana dan song before switching. I look back at the banker. He is staring right back at me." well that was awkward," I mumble, unable to look away." better steer into the skid." so I grab my imaginary guitar and start air-guitaring along to the song. He looked confused, and then looked away.
"bwahaha," I crackle. " I won!" I look to my other side." uh oh."
It is a mom with 1 kid in the car. there is a teenager rest on the front seat on her cell phone, and one obviously screaming children in the backseat. I can vaguely hear the mother shouting, so what the hell, I roll down my window slightly to eavesdrop.
"wait until your father here's about this!" she yells. "Don't make me stop this car over and come back there!"
"But we are already stopped!" ooo, one of those kids was smart enough to call her bluff. I try not to laugh." Bunty," the woman whips her head around, "you are grounded!"
"oh ooo!" I whop. the traffic moves forward slightly and I get new cars to inspect.
I groan. " look," I mock to myself, "It's a traffic jam Papa ki pari." the platinum blonde painstakingly applying to make up in the visor mirror looks over at me. whoops. my windows still down.
I smile a little too widely and give her thumbs up." looking great, Papa ki part!" oh man, I inwardly groan. Please, Please, Please let us move again. I roll up my window.
and then the car in front of me turns off their engine. well, it looks like we are going to be here a while.
"Tere chhajje ke niche hi khade hain Phans Gaye Jaise dal-dal Gulabo.. Zara itr gira do." overplayed, yes, but I think we all need a little uptown funk right now. I Squiggle around in my seat. as an actual dancer, I am awful, but car dancing is my passion.
the suddenly "Good News!" the perky google navigator is still throat punching annoying." the western Highway is all clear and things are moving smoothly!"
I can't help it, I snort and start to giggle. I think that was memorable Mumbai's traffic. jam. Ever.
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